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Geese are terrifying. Everyone knows this. Their bites hurt like hell and they have no respect for children or the elderly. In fact, they are the second-most terrifying bird behind turkeys (large, tenacious) and ahead of crows (eidetic, vengeful).So this momentous trio of photographs showing a Canada goose absolutely trucking a high school golfer near Blissfield, Michigan, is just a reminder of the natural order of things. You can have, as one Twitter user put it, a "quiver full of bird maulers" and a whole high school athlete's worth of physical power, but the goose is going to win every time. It's science.The unlucky human sacrifice here is Isaac Couling, a member of the Concord High School golf team. According to Blissfield Golf Coach Steve Babbitt, Couling, 16, was competing in the Madison Tournament at the World Creek Golf Course in Adrian, Michigan, when terror rained down."The group just finished teeing off on hole #7 and were walking down the fairway," Babbitt told CNN in an email. "They were aware of a goose nest on their left which they were looking at but not bothering when from behind them and to the right came the guard goose (protecting the nest)."Then came a rather alarming escalation, a whole Shakespearean tragedy in three acts. The Blissfield Athletics Twitter account explained that Couling was caught off guard by the charging bird as he was keeping an eye on another, probably equally threatening, goose.As Couling attempted to flee the chaos he tripped, allowing the goose a clear coup de grace.Said Blissfield Athletics on Twitter: "And you thought golf was boring?"Massive credit should be given to Devon Pitts of Blissfield, the photographer who caught this inspiring and terrifying moment of nature in action."You can say [she] was at the right place at the right time," Babbitt said.By all accounts, Couling is fine despite his close brush with wingèd evil."I did par that hole," he told the Detroit News. CNN has reached out to Couling for further comment.The-CNN-Wire 2023

GODDARD, Kan. (AP) — Authorities discovered a camel, a cow and a donkey roaming together along a Kansas road in a grouping reminiscent of a Midwestern Christmas Nativity scene.The Goddard Police Department asked for help Sunday in locating the owners of the “three friends traveling together (towards a Northern star).”Police said in a Facebook post that if they couldn’t find the owners, they would be “halfway toward a live Nativity this Christmas season.”Sedgwick County Sheriff’s Lt. Tim Meyers says the animals belong to an employee of the nearby Tanganyika Wildlife Park.One person who replied to the Facebook post inquired, “Are there 3 wise looking men near?” Another speculated that they “may lead you to the Second Coming.”Goddard is about 15 miles (24 kilometers) west of Wichita. 799

HAMILTON, Ohio — A man pocketed a puppy Saturday while perusing an Ohio pet store, packing the struggling little animal into the single oversized pocket of his hoodie and using his hands to keep it inside as he left.Propitiously for the pilfered pet and Preferred Puppies, the place from which it was plundered, he did so in full view of a security camera.Two days after the proprietor posted the recording to YouTube, the puppy’s new parent -- apparently unaware it had been stolen -- contacted the store and returned it. According to Preferred Puppies, it seems healthy but will need a checkup before it can go back on display. In the meantime, the puppy thief will face a problem he probably should have predicted: The police. "We filed a report with the police and provided video footage from several different cameras," the business wrote on Youtube. "So, they’ll catch him." 908

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, S.C. (AP) — A woman trying to protect her dog was killed by an alligator who pulled her into a lagoon at a private South Carolina resort Monday, authorities said.Cassandra Cline, 45, of Hilton Head Island, was walking the dog along a residential area of Sea Pines Resort when she was attacked, state and local officials said. The 8-foot (2.5-meter) alligator was later found and killed, said David Lucas, a spokesman for the South Carolina Department of Natural Resources."She was walking the dog near the lagoon and the alligator came out of the water and tried to get the dog," Lucas said. "The lady tried to rescue the dog and a maintenance worker ran over to help."Both were trying to save the dog, but the alligator dragged the woman into the water, he said.The dog was unharmed."It's common practice when we have an aggressive alligator like that, we put it down, but it will take some take some time to confirm it's the right alligator," said Capt. Robert McCullough of the Department of Natural Resources.Alligator attacks on humans are extremely rare, Lucas said.Since 1976, there have only been about 20 attacks on people in the state, he said. Until 2016, none of those attacks had been fatal. In 2016, a 90-year-old woman wandered away from a Charleston assisted living facility and was found dead in a pond.Blake Smith, 34, was leaving his house Monday morning when he saw police cars and firetrucks in the neighborhood."I waited for about 30 minutes, then I started hearing rumors about what happened down the road from here," Smith told The Island Packet newspaper. "It's odd because this is the first time we've heard about an aggressive alligator around a human in the five years that we've been living here."Smith said that at times, alligators have been spotted in yards or pools, but Sea Pines quickly removed those animals."They do a good job. This is just a sad incident," he said. "I have a young son, so it's kind of concerning to see something like this could happen."Sea Pines said in a statement that it's working with authorities "to ensure necessary access to the site while the investigation is underway."The Sea Pines Resort is in the southern third of Hilton Head Island, located along 5,000 oceanfront acres (2,023 hectares), its website says. 2314

Hillary Clinton told CNN on Wednesday that it is time to abolish the Electoral College, part of a sweeping interview where the former Democratic nominee sought to explain why she lost the 2016 election.Clinton, in the interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper, displayed her animus for fired FBI Director James Comey, reflected on her love for the people -- namely former President Bill Clinton -- who helped her get through the crushing loss and blasted the arcane election body that she believes helped Donald Trump win the presidency. 540