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This Thanksgiving will be different for everyone. Whether you're going to a small, socially distanced gathering or doing things virtually, this year’s holiday will be a first for everyone.However, there is one constant: uncomfortable conversations.The old adage is to not talk about religion, politics and finances as they are bound to be personal or create polarizing views that could put a rift between family members.This year has given no shortage of things to disagree on. Politics, the pandemic, racial justice, they all produce very strong opinions that can be on very different sides of the topic and elicit emotional responses. But whether you’re around a table or giving thanks over Zoom, these heavy topics can be talked about without ruining the holiday.“I think that for a lot of people, Thanksgiving is going to come with an extra layer of anxiety,” said Deanna Singh, Chief Change Agent for Uplifting Impact. “There are so many things we don’t have answers for. Internal conflicts, external conflicts, this year will come with an extra layer of anxiety but also hope it comes with an extra level of Thanksgiving.”Anxiety and stress are at all-time highs. The American Psychological Association says 60% of Americans are overwhelmed by the number of issues facing the United States right now and Generation Z, those who are 18 to 23 years old, are the most stressed. Roughly 1 in 3 people in the group report their mental health is worse than the same time last year.Singh says because of that, it’s important to recognize what you have to be thankful for this Thursday."We’ve been through a lot this year,” Singh said. “So, to be able to come together around the table and enjoy the people we love, I hope it comes with this extra layer of, ‘Wow. Let’s not take this for granted.’ This is big stuff.”The hot topic conversations also present the highest stress level for people. Eight out of ten people say the pandemic is a source of significant stress in their lives. Before the election, 68% of adults said they were stressed about it. That's up from 52% in 2016. Racial topics also bring about more stress with 59% of people saying police violence against minorities is a significant source of stress in their lives.It doesn’t mean you should avoid those “tough to talk about” topics altogether. There has been tremendous progress made on the racial justice front this year. After the killing of George Floyd, millions of people across the globe stood up against police brutality. It’s created a conversation on standing up for African Americans and being an ally.Around the dinner table, it may feel like an opportunity to share this newfound urge to stand up for racial equity. Singh says, it can be, if done appropriately so it has the most impact.She has three tips to have the most productive outcome from a tough conversation.Above all else, she says you need to check your own agenda before starting the conversation.“Understand what you are coming to the table with and what your purest intentions are,” Singh said. “It’s important to know what your agenda is and make sure your agenda isn’t like an, ‘I got you and I’m going to prove I’m the right person.’ I have never ever seen a conversation that starts with an agenda of, ‘I got you.’ If anything, it raises defenses.”It’s important to remember, as dug in as you are about your viewpoint and however correct you feel on the topic, someone else feels the exact same way about their own viewpoint. In order to be productive, Singh says it takes time to listen.“There are people with different views,” Singh said. “What an amazing opportunity to go to people you trust and love and try to expand your own thinking. Try and see things from a different perspective. I think it’s an amazing opportunity to learn.”Singh says it’s important to go into a conversation like this assuming your own opinion is wrong. It will help you gain empathy to someone else’s view and understand how you can explain your own view better.“It’s a humbling thing to think about, wow, I could be wrong,” Singh said. “No matter how vehemently you feel, start from that premise. That could allow for you to think about how to get to a conclusion or the space you want to move your audience to in a much more effective way. I have to be open to the fact that my ideology has holes in it. I will never convince somebody if I don’t understand them.”In order to be effective, it’s important to think about how you go about explaining your viewpoint. Singh says people have a tendency to explain their views in a way that makes sense to them but that could be counterproductive.“When people want to have difficult conversations, the way they prepare is the way they would want to receive the information and not in a way that’s best for the person they’re trying to have the conversation with,” Singh said. “Some people want facts or numbers and they need to see things on an Excel document and that’s how they make decisions. Other people really understand through stories or experiences. If you are going to wade into the water with people of differing opinions, one thing to prepare is to think about how they receive information and what’s the most effective for them.”Singh’s third tip is to be intentional. When it comes to politics, racial justice or how the pandemic is being handled, it can be easy to let your emotions get the best of you. She urges people to be able to address when something like that happens and acknowledge your interest in having a conversation.“Right now, I want to talk about how great the dressing is and this turkey and who made the mac n’ cheese?” Singh said. “Have that conversation when it’s appropriate. Let’s figure out a time when it would make more sense to have a conversation. There are certain spaces and places that are good for these conversations and you should do that. There are also certain places and spaces that are not.”By reeling in emotional responses, it can keep the conversation under control and prevent pushing loved ones farther apart.“One of the big things for me, I like to say I feel very uncomfortable right now,” Singh said. “I’m really, really emotional about what you said. I do not think I’m in a position to handle emotions that is respectful of you and respectful of me. I’m going to stop. I’m going to stop participating in this right now.”In order to de-escalate, Singh says it’s best to clarify what someone may have said. Asking, “What do you mean by that?” or “Can you tell me your reasoning behind that?” can be disarming ways to continue the conversation and help cooler heads prevail.Ultimately, ‘not talking about it’ may be less of an option now than ever before and Singh says that’s OK.“I would say this is a perfect opportunity for you to wade into those spaces if you’re feeling comfortable and feeling that calling,” Singh said. “It’s ok to do that. I would think carefully about where and how you do it. If you make a big scene of something and someone is already feeling defensive, what’s going to happen? More than likely, no matter how amazing they are as a person, they’re probably going to double down.”Singh has many other tips she is sharing in a webinar on How to be an Ally. Uplifting Impact is hosting the virtual webinar between Feb. 1 and Feb. 3. There is more information on the Uplifting Impact website.This story was originally published by Shaun Gallagher at WTMJ. 7424

This year's National Voter Registration Day was the largest in history, in part, because businesses assisted people to register or update their information. Many businesses say it's their duty to help people vote.Tanger Outlets in cities such as Daytona Beach, Florida, San Marcos, Texas and Savannah, Georgia, held registration events for shoppers coinciding with National Voter Registration Day. This year, records were smashed on National Voter Registration Day as 1.5 million voters registered, and hundreds of those were through the Tanger Outlet event.“It spoke to the traffic that the center saw that particular day, but we’re going to make this an annual event because of the returns they got,” says Stephen Yalof, president and chief operating officer of Tanger Outlets.“We’re very youth oriented, youth conscious in that we feel like the younger people in America have a voice and we want to make sure that we get a hold of them and make sure that they register and have a chance to have their voices heard when it comes to voting,” says Yalof.Tanger is just one of the many businesses that felt the need to get involved.“We’re very clear; we’re an ice cream company but we believe with adding a little bit of sweetness to assist the groups who are working on the front line who work to bring systemic change in the world,” said Jabari Paul, U.S. activism manager for Ben & Jerry'sBen & Jerry's, he says, does so much more than make and sell ice cream.“People can walk into our shops and there’s usually information somewhere up in the shop that informs you of the issues we care about, the issues our partners are working on," Paul said.These days, Paul says, that issue surrounds voting. Their "Scoop Shops" around the country are also called "action stations." Part of the campaign involves sending a text to easily check your registration status.“We believe businesses have a role to play in helping create a better society and that role can go far beyond corporate giving, and businesses have a huge platform they can lend in terms of uplifting very important issues,” says Paul.“You’ve seen so many people this year step it up, and I think you know, we’ve had some good corporate partners and efforts simply because people want to do their part and it's needed,” Ben Hovland, chairman of the U.S. Election Assistance Commission, said.The bipartisan, independent group focuses on elections and how they're run around the country. In the early days of the pandemic, there were serious drops in registration because places where people register, like the DMV, were closed. So, Hovland says, the help from businesses is critical.“This year you saw a lot of - a real outpouring of community participation, both government officials, the EAC is a partner in that effort,” Hovland said. “Civic groups, also corporations, celebrities, sports teams just promoting this idea of voter registration and for people to get registered.”Depending on where you live, you may still be able to register or update your registration, which is critical to being able to make sure your vote counts. 3107

This is a story about a state trooper, a collision and a lie.It begins at a parking lot in Michigan.  While on duty last May, Trooper Kevin Klomparens had pulled into a Chipotle restaurant in his Michigan State Police vehicle.  He was backing into a parking space when his SUV backed into a parked car.The damage caused was minimal: scratches and a small dent that totaled a few hundred dollars in damage. But Trooper Klomparens didn’t notify the car’s owner, leave a note or report the accident. Instead, he pulled out of the space and left.The driver of the damaged car turned out to be a 20-year-old college student who worked at a Southfield restaurant. She didn’t feel comfortable talking to Detroit-based WXYZ on-camera for this story, but said off-camera that she learned about the accident from two people who witnessed it. They told her, and then police.According to police records, the two witnesses said they heard “a loud crunch” and saw the trooper “commit a hit and run.”  Dispatch notified nearby officers that one of their own had been involved in an accident.  Klomparens heard the message on his police radio, and that’s when he turned his small problem into a much bigger one.Klomparens: I just got sideswiped by a car, I’m at 8 and Lahser.  He flipped and headed back east on Westbound 8 Mile, I’m trying to catch up.  I’m not entirely sure what kind of car it is, a grey sedan.Dispatch: And he’s now Eastbound or Westbound on 8?Klomparens: Eastbound. He hit a turnaround, I’m stopped at a traffic light when he hit my backend.Klomparens said he was the victim of a crime and said he was in a police chase with the person responsible.Dispatch: Did you get a plate?Klomparens: Negative on a plate, he turned behind me, there was a Michigan u-turn behind me. He turned back and sped off eastbound.In truth, there was no chase.  No sideswipe.  Klomparens made it all up.“Unbelievable that this officer would respond in that manner,” said Willie Bell, who spent 32 years as a Detroit Police Officer. “You’re violating the confidence that people have in police officers in general.”Today, Bell serves on the Detroit Board of Police Commissioners.“It’s a simple accident, but now it lays to totally lack of confidence, not just in this officer, but police officers in general,” Bell said.After the accident, MSP investigated and Trooper Klomparens admitted to making the story up.  The case was forwarded to Attorney General Bill Schuette’s office for possible prosecution. His office declined to charge the trooper with anything, writing in part that while “(w)e are certainly not condoning the actions of the trooper,” “there are better ways to handle this particular incident.”WXYZ asked to speak with Attorney General Schuette on camera to understand why he chose not to bring charges. His office declined. “The average citizen easily would have been charged in this case,” said Michael L. Steinberg, a criminal defense attorney who’s represented men and women accused of hit and run accidents. “Providing false information to a police officer is usually going to get the attention of the prosecuting attorney’s office,” he said. “A police officer doesn’t get special status as far as the law goes.”Klomparens won’t face charges, but he could still face discipline. He is still working at MSP today while internal affairs continues to investigate, more than five months since the accident happened. He declined comment for this story.The owner of the damaged vehicle says state police promised to reimburse her the full cost of repairing her SUV.  Months later, she’s still waiting.  3694

These days, it seems most of us are working longer hours and doing more at our jobs. However, despite putting in the extra work, 6 in 10 workers say they're making the same amount of money they were a year ago.“Despite the best economy we've seen in about a dozen years and the tightest labor market we've seen in almost 50 years, pay raises and better paying jobs are still the exception rather than the rule,” says Greg McBride, with Bankrate.com.Employers are also becoming more selective in how they give out raises, with more companies turning solely to performance-based salary increases.“There's less emphasis on this cost of living, this across the board peanut butter raise that everybody gets,” McBride says. “I think the other element here to is rising benefit costs. A lot of people are getting their raise in the form of the employer absorbing higher benefit costs.”McBride says people with low incomes have the highest chances of not receiving a raise or a better paying job because they generally don't have the advanced skills companies are looking for. Baby Boomers are also not likely to receive a raise because they've often reached their highest income potential within the company.Daniel Swart is a government consultant and one of those workers who did not get a pay raise this year.“It's pretty frustrating,” he says. “When you put in your time and you think you're progressing and your skills are progressing, but your salary is not matching up with those skill progressions.”One of his resolutions for the New Year is to find a new job.“You're almost in a position where the only way to get an increase in your salary is to look for another job,” Swart says.Experts say that can be the smartest plan.“If your current employer is not going to pay you what you feel your market rate is, look elsewhere and see if one of the competitors in the marketplace will,” McBride says. “This is an extremely tight labor market and particularly competitive in certain areas.” 1995

Three months ago, Tree of Life Rabbi Hazzan Jeffrey Myers took to his congregation's blog and bemoaned the scourge of gun violence and the failure of lawmakers to address the problem.Three months later, that menace entered his sanctuary. A gunman stepped into the Pittsburgh synagogue as congregants observed Shabbat. Multiple casualties were reported, including congregants and police. At least four people died and a suspect has been taken into custody.Myers' message this summer now represents grim relevance for his congregation, a religious community affiliated with the Conservative branch of Judaism and is located in Squirrel Hill, the city's well-known Jewish enclave."Despite continuous calls for sensible gun control and mental health care, our elected leaders in Washington knew that it would fade away in time," Myers wrote in a blog post last July titled "We Deserve Better" that made reference to the massacre at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. 986