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This isn't the first time Americans have been politically divided. Regardless of who's in the White House and no matter where you stand politically, experts say the only way we unify is to respect one another's opinions and to start listening to each other.Dr. Richelle Moen is a psychologist and therapist. It's her job to help people communicate. She's also an assistant professor at the University of Minnesota Medical School. In therapy, she says two-way conversations are important.“One rule of thumb is that family and friends are more important in the long run than the actual issues,” said Moen. “We’re not going to change the other person. Getting angry or having heated discussions is not going to change anybody’s beliefs or position.”Relationships have faltered. Couples are fighting. Neighbors are angry at one another.“The important part here and the question we should ask ourselves is who are we going to talk about with this and at what time?” said Moen. “So, is talking to Grandpa or Uncle Bob the right person to start with when the kids are around, when they’re so strong, so opinionated and get angry very quickly?”She also says that when you're headed to a gathering, where you know politics will come up, have a plan.“We not only want to know who we’re going to talk to, how we can be respectful and validate what they’re saying and giving our point of view if they want it, but if it starts getting heated or we find ourselves getting more and more intense inside, we need a plan to deep breathe, calm ourself down, and if we can’t, we need to say ‘can we stop this conversation right now.’”This isn't the first time Americans have gone through this.“JFK and Nixon in 1960,” said Capri Cafaro.Cafaro is an executive in residence at American University and a former minority leader of the Ohio Senate. 1960 saw a close election, one that came with a lot of skepticism. But perhaps the most relatable election is that of Bush and Gore in 2000.“It was a notable instance where the person who won the popular vote, in this case Al Gore, is not the person that won the Electoral College and that I think put a lot of people off of government, of politics and trying to reevaluate fairness and ethics in government.”What's driving the divide, Cafaro says, is a growing and ever mounting distrust of everything and of each other.“We’ve created such a polarized narrative over the last few years and these siloed echo chambers of media in many instances because of technology, whether it’s social media being able to cherry pick the type of news you consume,” she said.But she says we can get past it by leading by example, which Moen says is currently not happening.“There’s been some modeling that hasn’t been the greatest. What we know with the political research done back in the 60s, only 12% of ads were negative in 2012, only 14% are positive.”So, now what? Moen says that's up to us. It starts with those holiday family gatherings you're about to have. Listen. Respect each other's opinions. Regulate your emotions. Put politics aside and find common ground. And maybe, just maybe, the next election will be different. But only if we can start our path to repair right now. 3205

THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. (KGTV) -- After gunning down a group of workers standing at the door at Borderline Bar & Grill country music bar, Ian David Long paused a moment to post a chilling message on social media before resuming his killing spree."It's too bad I won't get to see all the illogical and pathetic reasons people will put in my mouth as to why I did it. Fact is I had no reason to do it, and I just thought... f***it, life is boring so why not?," Long posted.According to ABC News, citing law enforcement sources and documents, Long published his message then proceeded to shoot victims on the dance floor.  Three minutes later, the former United States Marine Corps machine gunner appeared to taunt the public in a follow-up post."I hope people call me insane (two smiley face emoji)...wouldn't that just be a big ball of irony? Yeah... I'm insane, but the only thing you people do after these shootings is 'hopes and prayers'... or 'keep you in my thoughts'... every time... and wonder why these keep happening... (two more smiley face emoji)," Long posted at 11:27 p.m Wednesday.It's unclear which social media platforms he used.Officials found a Glock .45-caliber handgun at the scene that was purchased legally. The weapon usually holds 10 rounds, plus one in the chamber, but the gunman used an extended magazine in this shooting, Ventura County Sheriff Geoff Dean said.Officials have not commented on whether mental illness was a factor in the massacre of the 12 people nor determined the shooter's motive.In April, officers responded to a disturbance at Long's home, and he was somewhat irate and acting irrationally, Dean said. A mental health specialist met with him and ultimately decided not to detain him under laws pertaining to his mental health.Dean said that a crisis team that visited Long felt the military veteran might be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.Investigators are looking into whether the gunman believed his former girlfriend would be at the bar, ABC News reported.THOUSAND OAKS MASS SHOOTING: 2084

There's a simple thing many of us having been missing during the pandemic that has a big impact on our health and well-being — hugs from our loved ones.A neuroscientist tells us many are dealing with what researchers call "skin hunger." It's a phenomenon where we can feel emotionally lost of something without physical contact.“And that which is missing is something that normally provides us with some contentment, some solace, some feeling that we're safe and that we're amongst others who we can rely on as a bio-behavioral resource,” said Emiliana Simon-Thomas, PhD, Science Director at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.Simon-Thomas says hugs can help us communicate trust and support. She says even incidental moments of touch in the community, like brushing shoulders at a concert or giving someone a high-five, can help you feel reassurance.“I'm really worried about people who are absolutely alone,” she said. “I worry a lot about people who are ill and are in a situation where they're not allowed to be in company their loved ones.”For those people, she suggests focusing on a memory of the last time they hugged someone they love.It may sound odd, but some researchers also suggest hugging yourself.Touch is also associated with better heart health and higher levels of oxytocin in the brain. That's what helps us form bonds with other people. 1377

This is supposed to be the first week of class for many Washington state schools. But exactly when students in some districts will go to class remains a mystery.Teacher strikes in two districts have already forced the cancellation of classes on their first day of school Tuesday.Evergreen Public Schools are closed because no deal has been reached between the school district and the Evergreen Education Association over salaries.Negotiations are ongoing, and the school district said it will give parents at least 24 hours' notice before classes will begin.The Washougal School District also missed its first day of school Tuesday due to a strike by the Washougal Association of Educators.School district representatives met with union members and mediators Monday to try to reach an agreement on teacher salary increases."The district and the association have worked hard to reach an understanding but, unfortunately, we were not able to come to an agreement," district Superintendent Mary Templeton said.Four other state school districts, which are scheduled to start classes Wednesday, could have those plans derailed by strikes over salaries and benefits.Vancouver Public Schools, Longview Public Schools, Battle Ground Public Schools and the Hockinson School District all announced that negotiations are continuing with teachers and mediators.The Hockinson School District said it's hoping to start classes on time but is asking parents to have backup plans for their children, just in case. 1515

Top senators eager to target Saudi Arabia over the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi?plan to meet Thursday to try to cut a bipartisan deal curtailing US involvement in the war in Yemen, suspend arms sales with the Saudi kingdom and rebuke the crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman.The goal of the senators is to reach bipartisan consensus on a deal that could be on the floor as soon as Monday, according to members involved in the effort."There's a consensus among a lot of us that we want to suspend arms sales and stop support for the war -- how do you best do that?" said Sen. Lindsey Graham, a South Carolina Republican who is directly involved in the effort.Asked if he's spoken to the White House about the push, Graham said bluntly: "They know where I'm at.""It'll have teeth," said Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman Bob Corker, a Tennessee Republican, who added that the senators are trying to piece together various proposals into one plan to achieve bipartisan consensus. "We're trying to get everything together so we do something constructive."The move would amount to a rebuke not just to Saudi Arabia -- but also to Trump, who has downplayed the murder of Khashoggi and cast doubt on the crown prince's role?in the murder while also promoting economic ties of the US and Saudi Arabia. Among the ideas: Formally halt arms sales between the kingdom and the US, a top Trump priority, while also limiting the US involvement in the Saudi-led war in Yemen, which the Trump administration supports. Moreover, senators are debating how best to target the crown prince, whether it's through a non-binding resolution blaming him for the murder or seeking to slap him with sanctions."Honestly, left to my own accord, I would focus on (bin Salman)," said Corker, who is retiring at the end of his term in January, but added that any deal would also weigh in on the US involvement in Yemen.Corker also said CIA director Gina Haspel gave the "most precise presentation I've ever heard in 12 years" in the Senate when she briefed senators Tuesday on the Khashoggi murder.He said that a colleague corrected his comments Tuesday that a jury would convict bin Salman in 30 minutes. It would have been "20 minutes," he said the colleague told him.Corker said he would be "benevolent" and give Defense Secretary James Mattis and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo the benefit of the doubt for their prior briefing, saying they may be downplaying a link with the crown prince because they haven't seen the same intelligence that the CIA director has.Without a bipartisan deal, Corker warned that a measure -- drafted by Sens. Bernie Sanders of Vermont, Mike Lee of Utah and Chris Murphy of Connecticut -- to end US support within 30 days for the war in Yemen would pass the Senate as soon as next week."If there's not (a deal), the other one looks to me like it's going to get 51 votes," he said.But with only limited time left in the lame-duck session, GOP leaders are wary about bringing up the measure because it could dominate the floor schedule next week. Because of the unusual process, bringing up the Sanders-Lee-Murphy measure -- without a bipartisan deal to consider amendments -- could open up the floor to a session known as a "vote-a-rama" that could open up the bill to a wide-range of unrelated issues."The conundrum is if we get on it without an agreement on amendments then we've got a vote-a-rama," said Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn, a Texas Republican. "And so there's no germaneness requirement, so everything from criminal justice reform to repeal-and-replace Obamacare to Medicare-for-all are all fair game. That's the conundrum."Cornyn added: "I think we should condemn the murder of Khashoggi in the most emphatic terms but I don't think we should cut our nose off to spite our face with regard to the proxy war in Yemen against Iran." 3885

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