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A steady gust of an early winter’s wind was whipping through the last few pieces of corn still left standing on Paul Hamilton’s Northern Kentucky farm, their golden kernels exposed to the elements, naked wilted stalks all but dead. The corn here will soon be gone from this rolling farmland and so too will Paul Hamilton’s prized herd of dairy cows. Paul’s family has been on this 80 acres for three generations. His grandfather first purchased the land in the 1950’s before handing it over to Paul’s father, who ultimately sold it to Paul when he was in his 20’s.A legacy of family farming though will end with Paul Hamilton by the end of the year. He refuses to subject his 16-year-old son John to the uncertain life of farming. “If I had to do it all over again, 29 years ago when my dad offered me the land, I would have turned it down,” Paul admits as he struggles to cut a piece of plastic rope holding together a 100 pound barrel of hay. Paul has taken one vacation day in the last four years. There are no sick days for dairy farmers, no holidays and no weekends. Every day his 35 Holstein cows must be milked at 5 a.m. and then again at 5 p.m. to keep them producing. This 56-year-old hasn’t shaven in days; the bags under his eyes are so heavy they seem to stretch halfway down his face. His boots are caked with a thick layer of mud and manure that refuses to come off no matter how much he washes them. And yet he loves it here, if for no other reason than the fact that he knows no other way of living. “When you’ve done it your entire life, it gets to be where it’s a part of you,” he says leaning against the tire of a 1971 John Deere tractor that he repairs almost daily. Paul admits though that the end is near,“We’re hemorrhaging money. We’ve run through a pretty rough time right now and next year doesn’t look better either.” Last month, the Hamilton family farm lost ,500. The price of milk is playing a large role in the struggle dairy farmers are facing. While most consumers pay an average for a gallon of milk at the grocery store, most farmers only get about from that sale. Nearly 60 dairy farms have shut down across Indiana, Kentucky and Tennessee since the start of the year. Paul’s wife Paula Hamilton has run out of hope. “Always before it was maybe next year we’ll have a better crop, maybe next year prices will go up. And now we’re looking at it and we’re no longer saying next year and that’s really sad,” she said. Sitting in the front yard of the family’s century-old white farmhouse, beneath a bright orange maple tree, a small tear falls down her face.“We no longer have hope it’s going to keep going.” And that is a reality facing hundreds of farmers across the United States right now. A prospect so grim, that some are choosing to take their own lives instead of letting go of farms that have been in their families for decades. “You know I worry about him a lot. He’s working so hard and getting so tired and I wonder if he’s gotten to a point that he can’t come back from emotionally,” Paula says holding her husband’s hand. Farmers are notoriously reserved with their feelings and thoughts. The solitary occupation often leaves some feeling as though they have nowhere to turn as they are facing financial and emotional ruin.According to the University of Kentucky’s Vital Statistics Office, 15 farmers died by suicide in 2015. The number was even higher the year before as 21 farmers took their own lives. Since 2005, 142 farmers died by suicide in the Bluegrass State leaving behind countless broken families and prompting some public health officials to label this a “crisis.” That includes Debbie Reed who has worked as a nurse and professor at the University of Kentucky for nearly three decades. “When someone dies in the farming community people always bring over casseroles, but when someone commits suicide, it’s known as the ‘no casserole death’ because no one wants to bring a casserole over when a person has taken their own life,” Dr. Reed said. Dr. Reed believes suicide in farming communities are vastly underreported mainly because of the stigma associated with suicide, “These people are living in communities where they don’t interact with each other daily, so it’s hard for people to reach out for help.” The prospect of having to give up on his farm by the end of the year has left Paul Hamilton dealing with a severe case of depression. He’s never thought about taking his own life, but his wife Paula says the likelihood of facing financial ruin often leaves her feeling hopeless, “Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. Sometimes you’re by yourself and at night you’re thinking, ‘God, how could I do it where he gets the insurance,’ but then you think, ‘I don’t need to be thinking this way.” Paula’s hope is that farmers start opening up about their feelings, especially when so many are facing such uncertain futures. Her eyes turn to a grazing herd of cattle nearby, “No one is telling the farmers about it, no one is saying, ‘Hey there’s other people that feel like you feel and it’s okay to feel like that.”’ But even with everything they are facing, both Paula and Paul aren’t ready to give up until they’ve exhausted every option. Their family’s legacy is all they have left.“You’re connected to the land, but the land is killing you.” If you or someone you know is struggling and in need of help there are number of resources available:National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 5626
A new campaign featuring the world's only classical music organization created for people with mental illness has teamed up with advocates to honor mental illness awareness week. They're using social media to bring people together to share how we're all getting through 2020.In a socially-distanced way, musicians gather outside with masks on to rehearse and get ready for a big, monumental moment. “My husband is the driving force here, he’s a brilliant conductor. His name is Ronald Braunstein and he conducted all over the world, he also has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder,” said Caroline Whiddon. She's the co-founder and executive director of the Me2 Orchestra.She said, “we have musicians living with bipolar disorder schizophrenia, substance abuse disorders, OCD, PTSD, depression and anxiety, that’s my diagnosis, it runs the gamut and we’re all constantly learning from each other."When there's not a pandemic, the orchestra, which Whiddon describes as a "traveling band", travels everywhere. They're working to erase the stigma of mental illness through their collective and talented musical voices. "We play both in traditional concert venues like recital halls or city hall but what’s exciting for us, we go into non-traditional venues, we play in gymnasiums at correctional facilities, at addiction treatment centers, hospitals, those types of people.” They work, Whiddon says, to normalize the challenges and show their successes. She also says if you were to watch the Me2 Orchestra members perform, you would never know anyone had any sort of mental illness."I’m always telling people, 'if you were to pop in, it would just look like an orchestra rehearsing.'”Now, they're working on a brand new piece. They're using their music to encourage others to share their "monumental moments" on social media. In doing so, pharmaceutical company Neurocrine Biosciences will donate to mental health organizations. “We’re really going to inject some positivity out there, let’s talk about what’s keeping us grounded and what’s keeping us real and mentally healthy right now,” said Whiddon.Dr. Stacy Cohen, a mental health expert, says music is instrumental in its healing properties. “Music is really like medicine, it increases the flow of our positive neurotransmitters which are our brain's hormones, things like dopamine and serotonin which we’ve all heard of that tend to boost our mood or make us feel more calm or more joy, those things increase in the settings of just listening to music. It can be that simple."Cohen says, in a time when people are more stressed and anxious then ever, mental health is more challenged than ever. Which means treatment is more necessary than ever. And watching those with mental illness perform can be therapeutic. For all of us. Cohen said, “It really is a good place where you can go, listen, see how talented people are and because they’re speaking out about it you’re like wow this person who’s leading the orchestra, super high functioning but still struggles and is speaking about it can be really inspirational and uplifting to hear these stories.”That new score will premiere virtually on October 28th. The hope is that everyone will join together, regardless of their challenges. 3245

A new art installation in Washington, D.C. is aiming to put the COVID-19 pandemic in a new perspective.WTOP-TV in Washington reports that on Friday, artist Suzanne Brennan Firstenberg was joined by the friends and family of coronavirus victims to set up her newest installation, "In America: How Could This Happen…"The installation, located on the D.C. Armory field near RFK Stadium, features more than 200,000 white flags — each one representing an America who has been killed by COVID-19.Community members are invited to continue planting the flags through Friday, Nov. 6. By the project's conclusion, Firstenberg hopes to plant more than 240,000 flags. She also invites volunteers to write the names of loved ones who have been killed by the disease on the flags."This is public participatory art," Firstenberg told NPR. "I want the community to come plant flags right alongside me. I want them to realize the importance of individual lives."According to NPR, Firstenberg has been searching for a place to display her project since August. She initially planned to use small American flags, but she ran into roadblocks."I would have had to source them from China, and that didn't really make sense to me," Firstenberg told NPR.White flags are typically used to represent surrender — which would be poignant given White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows' weekend comments claiming the Trump administration isn't going to control the pandemic. But according to Firstenberg, the white flags are meant to represent innocence."I know how valuable each life is, because I've had the opportunity — the honor — to be with people at a very difficult time in their lives, as they're saying goodbye," Firstenberg told NPR.As of early Tuesday afternoon, Johns Hopkins reports that more than 225,000 Americans had died of COVID-19. 1829
A video of a woman who was allegedly resisting arrest while being beaten by police officers on a New Jersey beach on Saturday has been shared 1,000s of times since being published. Emily Weinman, a resident of Philadelphia, claimed that officers questioned her about underage drinking while she was on a beach in Wildwood, New Jersey. Weinman claimed that she was given an alcohol breath test, which came back negative. Weinman added in a Facebook post that the officers from the Wildwood, New Jersey Police were going to let her go, but when she asked officers why they were enforcing underage drinking rather than more serious crimes, that is when the officers had a change of heart. Weinman said that officers asked for her to identify herself, which she refused to do. Weinman claims an officer said, "I was gonna let you go but now I'll write you up." 894
A suspect has been arrested and the gun and mask have been recovered after an incident at the Boulevard Mall in Las Vegas, according to police. The gun appears to be a fake gun, according to police. The identity of the suspect will be released Friday morning. Police said they received calls about a person with a gun at the Boulevard Mall on Maryland Parkway. No injuries were reported and police say no shots were fired. The mall was evacuated while officers made sure the person with a gun is not inside the mall. Deputy Chief Chris Jones told the media during a press briefing that video has been obtained of a person wearing a mask and carrying a long gun. The incident began shortly after 7 p.m. Watch video from inside the Boulevard Mall belowAs the news first broke earlier tonight, thoughts of the Las Vegas shooting came to mind. But when it comes to mall shootings in Las Vegas there have been a few isolated incidents. In July 2014, one person was injured during a shooting at the Fashion Show Mall. In that case, police reported a scuffle broke out and one man was shot in the neck. There was another shooting in May 2016 in the parking lot at Fashion Show Mall.This occurs at a crucial moments for Boulevard Mall. The more than 50-year-old shopping center was once the premier mall in the city but fell into disrepair. It was sold in 2013 to developer Roland Sansone for .5 million and then embarked on a million renovation project.It’s had some near-term ups and downs. After the SeaQuest Aquarium announced in 2016 it would open, Macy’s and J.C. Penney both said last year they would close. In 2018, Sansone announced the Galaxy Theater would open in the fall and Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield will open in the second story of the former Macy’s space.Facebook live video from Mahsa Saeidi at the scene 1894
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